Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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