if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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