im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
