he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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