He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
