I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
