of course. lets lasso hookers.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
