When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
