I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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