i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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