My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
