i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
