You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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