marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I need a burrito and a hug.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
