just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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