ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
foreskin is a definite game changer
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
