Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
