Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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