clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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