did you get engaged???
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
