How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
