Define "chronic" masturbator.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
