I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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