belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
