Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
