do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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