Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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