I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
