Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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