just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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