come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
