He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
