ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
