so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
