...so i touched it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
