who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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