I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
