No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
