Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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