All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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