Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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