Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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