I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
