everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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