She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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