i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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