when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
