Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Randomize
