WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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