you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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