i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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